Very transient tingling
Monday august 19th, 2013
Approx. 2.5 g Peganum Harmala ground into a fine powder and drunk in a ginger, lemon and honey tea (to mitigate any potential nausea and disguise bitterness).
Due to the limited amount of sclerotia I had left, this was a (successful) attempt to potentise and extend effect by using an MAO inhibitor. General guidelines from www.erowid.org/plants/mushrooms/mushrooms_article7.shtml
article by James Kent, Psychedelic Illustrations, Vol. 2(8); Mushroom Ayahuasca, Funky what a little Rue can do.
I really had no great expectations, the intent on going into the ‘trip’ was to once again connect with other forms of consciousness; to be shown the potential beyond the veil, and to lessen the emphasis on heavy-duty, personal psychological work (i.e. the battering I received from the trip of 15/8/2013).
Notable differences between this and previous excursions (besides recipe): I had not consumed any alcohol at all that day and had eaten a minimal amount earlier in the evening. I also decided to locate myself in my bed where I would be next to my wife, rather than on the couch downstairs.
The only effect of the Rue prior to Magic Mushrooms ingestion was a very transient tingling of my lips and roof of mouth; no nausea to speak of (thankfully).
Within 30-40 minutes of eating the shrooms I felt a characteristic tiredness come over me. There were a couple of minutes of open-eye visuals (the duvet undulating like the tops of clouds seen from above, but this did not last).
There was a little more closed eye visual activity, texturally similar to Salvia Divinorum initially, but lacking the intensity.
Auditory inputs were also heightened, with sounds from farm machinery engaged in the local wheat harvest sounding very harsh and I was relieved when they ceased. I opened my consciousness to any ‘nature spirits’ that may be seeking a refuge from the industrial clamour. Although I felt many presences (I seemed to be hosting a party at one point) there was little direct communication; my work was to be at another level.
The first clear message I received was “No words”; I was not to constantly probe with verbalised questions from my left brain; I was not an anthropologic observer, nor a reporter. If I was to pose questions, it was made clear that I should use the telepathy of symbols. In this was I hoped to keep my over-developed ‘rational’ mind out of the way a bit.
As I relaxed into the experience (delighted that it was already palpably stronger and deeper than I had hoped) I was shown why I was to try and not involve words.
Words appeared tablet/ tile like in their form and it was explained that the creation by words (sigil magic) was what was behind the experience we call reality and that it was an illusion created by mind. I had an image of a life as a road paved with words (the yellow brick road), and that when the created world of words comes to an end at death, there is the abyss of the pure unformed waitng for us; the place where consciousness is at home, but a place that is terrifying and unknowable by mind. I stood at the end of the road and felt no fear of losing my ‘mind-life’.
I was then shown a series of hallucinated images; the images themselves were not important, it was the effect that they created that was to be my lesson. I felt I understood that part of the power of the hallucinogenic experience, part of its modus operandi in the dissolution of mind-based reality, is through the use of the absurd and novel.
I quickly noticed that a split-second after a new image appeared a ‘film’ of mind grabbed onto the image to comprehend it, rationalise it and explain it to the ego. The mind was acting like the translucent eyelid of the crocodile that covers the eye ball without cutting out the whole visual image.
The hallucinations kept popping, and my mind kept jumping in to attempt to maintain control, but it was clear that it was always lagging, responding to reality, but behind the moment. I realised that the mind was not the master of reality, but the interpreter of it, and that I could get outside of mind in this way.
It was fascinating to step outside of mind-created reality, even for an instant and experience mind frantically ‘throwing’ reality back up; trying to maintain continuity of experience. I was like having a pyramid shaped pop-up tent being thrown over my head as soon as I escaped from that mind- controlled place. It was not threatening, it was just what mind does to maintain the illusion that we have chosen to incarnate into/ experience. We are here through choice to experience something.
I then saw a couple of images relating to this. The first was a pair of human figures without heads atop their shoulders (very cave art stylistically). The heads of the beings were contained in pyramids that were connected to a stick or beam at the apex, and carried in the hands of the figures. It was clear that it was an analogy to the fact that we walk around in a world created by the ‘magic’ of words, unaware of what true reality is most of the time. The second image was similar; a humanoid form representing consciousness with its ‘head’ placed in a ‘view-screen’ that looked like a cathode ray tube. This explained to me that we are choosing to ‘see’ this illusory reality. It also made me think of the use of the pyramid in archaic and modern cultures as a symbol of power and control.
I was outside the mind created world looking in and tried to formulate a question relative to the risk of the illusion collapsing by stepping out from it. I received no clear answer, but what was emphasised is that there is nothing to fear if this happens, as nothing would be lost. I thought of how I would miss my children but it was explained that they/ we are all part of the same consciousness experiencing itself.
Lying next to my wife, I no longer could experience her as a separate person; she was me; another aspect of me. It is as if when we ‘incarnated’ at the top of the pyramid, and we disperse holographically as we expand, we forgethow to recognise ourselves in others. The process of loving another individual and the function of sexual union is resultant to a meeting of the part of the hologram of self that is a close fit (a piece of the puzzle that was originally proximal before the explosive ‘big-bang’ of incarnation scattered the pieces far and wide).
I felt that I am a (co)creator of this current ‘mind’ reality. That role that I/ we all share permits us to create the reality we desire, and take responsibility for the reality as it presently is. I saw myself as as much of the Archon as anything external; I was humbled, ashamed but relieved that there is a means to affect change.
I realised that there are ‘rules’ to this “mind-reality”, but they are open to alteration and manipulation; that institutions such as ‘Intelligence’ Services know this and use sleight of hand to appear to manipulate reality, but in fact these things are illusions; somehow there is a check on absolute malevolence and abuse of power inherent in the ground matrix of this ‘mind reality’.
It was explained that processes such as Revolution were course analogues to the actual capacity that we posses to change things. There are those who understand this and use this to their advantage (McKennna’s ‘Dominator Culture’) to maintain their positions in this manufactured reality.
Visionary plants and psychedelic experience permit an awareness of the illusion. We can chose to step outside of it (see behind the curtain) and we can push back its effects from inside the illusion. The hardness of the illusion is a product of the mind, and visionary plants allow a softening of that, and the space to re-orient, before the steely weight of mind reality closes in once more.
To sum up the ‘take-home’ from this trip was: we have chosen to participate in an illusory world that lets us experience aspects of ourselves that we cannot do as pure, undifferentiated consciousness.
The mind uses, among other things, the creative power of words; sigil magic. Words bind us to the mind-reality and can trap us. We are all co-creators, but are mostly lacking in the necessary training and skills to understand and wield our power.
There are probably those who have greater knowledge and skills and their development has something to do with the ‘Mystery Schools’. These ‘initiates’ jealously guard their knowledge and this is NOT to the benefit of the rest of ‘humanity’, but that situation will change. Ironically, we’re ‘doing it to ourselves’.
This from 1984 by George Orwell:
“Don’t you see the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought......Every year, fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller..”
At some point I slipped out of a visionary state and into sleep. I awoke suddenly at 2am with the trip definitely over. I had little sensation of my body physically metabolizing the rest of the night, and awoke the next morning feeling refreshed, happy and inspired.